Good Vibrations

Image by G.C. from Pixabay

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions because I rarely stick to them. But something happened recently that has me thinking this year might be different. I was scheduled to fly back to the East Coast from the West on a Boeing 737 Max 9 and was among the thousands whose flights were cancelled.

From a young age, I’ve been claustrophobic, which means I go out of my way to avoid small or crowded spaces. I often book flights based on whether or not I can sit near the front to make disembarking less intense. When so many flights are cancelled, rescheduling options are limited, and I found myself booked a day later in a window seat in row 41 of an airbus. Fear, which usually sleeps in some dark corner of the house, seized the opportunity to awaken and inhabit all the rooms. 

It is challenging to drown out a phobia’s persistent noise, which is manifested via emotional, mental, and physical discomfort, not unlike grief in that sense. Logic is useless, but I told myself there were much worse things going on in the world. It was indulgent to allow fear to take over. Time to take a breath, several of them, in a measured intentional way, not hyperventilating and pacing in circles.

Everything in the world is energy and vibration. The human energy body has been likened to a tuning fork. High emotional states like love, gratitude, and peace cause us to vibrate at higher frequencies than low emotional states like anger, fear, and hate. I think we’ve all experienced the difference.

Practices like breath work, meditation, yoga, qigong, tai chi and others can help us calm down, reconnect to our bodies. Even if not practiced regularly, they can provide instant relief by steering the focus from the emotional/mental state of anxiety to the body and breath.

I hit the Insight Timer app and listened to several guided meditations the night before I flew. I downloaded videos and had a novel. I did some walking and stretching. Still, I told my brother on the way to the airport, it was Code Red in Jan Land. And yet, incredibly, when the time came it was more like Code Crystal Blue Persuasion, a new vibration. I settled into my seat, put on my headphones, and made a New Year’s resolution to really work on this phobia. We’ll check in again after my next flight. Until then, inhale, exhale.

The Day You Decide

Paloma was summoned to court in the middle of the night by the Queen of Fear. Perched on her throne, the Queen wore a tarnished crown and a lopsided smile. Or was it a sneer? Paloma wasn’t sure. Her handmaidens, Anxiety and Dread, stood frozen on either side. 

Paloma cast her eyes about, eager to leave, only to find she, too, was stuck in place, mesmerized by this Queen. Many eager followers were also in attendance, all of them a twitter, but the Queen was clearly bored and distracted, hungry for more diversion.

“So, what brings you here,” her eyes narrowed in on Paloma.

Paloma was confused. “I was summoned.” 

“Were you? I don’t recall that.” The Queen looked first to Anxiety, then to Dread, who murmured incoherent sounds of assent.

“Why else would I be here?” 

“Why, indeed? Few are truly summoned here. The Queen looked over a growing crowd filling her court. They usually come on their own.” 

The room seemed to contract and expand, making Paloma feel claustrophobic. She was desperate to leave.

“You look a little peaked, dear. Do you need a rest?” 

The words were nice, but no so comforting coming from this Queen. “No, no. I am okay. I think I should be going now.” But when she turned to do so, Paloma found she still could not move. 

“Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but often those who cannot make a decision come to my court, and here they remain.”

 “What decision have I to make?” 

The Queen laughed out loud. “Oh, goodness, there are so very many. Apart from the basics, including being honorable and true, you hold yourself back—stuck—because you’ve made your mind a pretzel and put your life on hold with your what if this, what if that questions. You can no longer hear yourself think, so you’ve chosen me to rule.”

Chosen?  Was that true? Anxiety and Dread became more wide-eyed. Anxiety, unable to take a step, bobbed her head, her arms flailing. She looked beseechingly at Paloma.

Oh dear, thought Paloma. Let that not be my fate. A heart whisper rose to her ears, “For the love of Love, decide not to be stuck. Do something. Anything.”

Paloma curtsied. “I do have things I must do.” She thought she saw Dread give her the slightest smile. 

The Queen nodded consent and bid her farewell. “Nicely played.”

But Paloma barely heard the Queen’s parting words, so swiftly did she take her leave.

***

The day you decide to do it is your lucky day. (Japanese Proverb)